Memorial Day Piñata Nightmare

My family attended a Memorial day bbq block party we have every year. All people we know who are familiar with my story. There was one new family on the block, and they were attending their first block bbq. 

Things were going great, everyone was eating and having fun. But the father in this new family unit, who I will call “The Smiths,” brought out a piñata that had been following them from house to house as they moved, and thought it would be fun for us all to bash it in.

When my daughter saw it, she turned pale and threw up her hotdog and beans. My wife took her home and I explained to Mr. Smith why it had such a profound affect on my daughter. 

He laughed it off and said, I quote, “Well, she’s gone now so let the rest of us have some fun.”

At that point, I would simply have left the gathering, but but over a half dozen of my neighbors stepped in and told Mr. Smith where to shove his piñata. Several of the wives went to our house to coax out my daughter (they succeeded with promises of chocolate egg creams.) 

More than one of my neighbors apologized to me for the behavior of Mr. Smith and told me they wanted me to know that my family (and our bbq chops) are always more welcome than a piñata. I have never felt so welcomed by a group of people in my life. The entire block stepped in and supported my quest to educate everyone to the dangers of piñatas.  

And Mr. Smith? Well, he’s a bit of a pariah for now. But my neighbors are good Christian people, and we’ll forgive him before the next block party.

8 Responses to “Memorial Day Piñata Nightmare”

  1. Big Ass Pinata Says:

    Your killing your daughter slowly by feeding her hotdogs dummy!

  2. shieiasis Says:

    pinata violence? or misguided mistakes? I make pinatas every year for my children’s birthdays and have never encountered these kinds of acts. No one has ever been hurt or mutilated at any of my parties and everyone who comes gets sheer enjoyment from bashing it and eating the candy. I make sure there is enough candy for everyone and generally the older kids let the little ones to the candy first. But if you are still afraid of pinata violence you can make a ball pinata to be kicked instead of swung at by a bat, it works just as well

  3. IsThisForReal? Says:

    Oh my gosh!! This website can’t be for real. This is hysterical stuff! So does your daughter freak out when she watches Santa Claus pop in on the tube, or that huge giant Easter Bunny hopping down the bunny trail. Hope she doesn’t dare step outside during Halloween. Congratulations! If our world could only be more like your block…thanks for the entertainment anyway:)

  4. bob ross Says:

    this site is hilarious

  5. Kdub Says:

    wow. this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. why are you shunning new neighbors just because they want to have fun? every year we traditionally make a pinata and break it open for kids. if your afraid to get hurt, heres an idea: step back, dumass.

  6. isaac Says:

    good christian people? hmm, what about good jews an muslims and what not…i thin kyou are using pinatas to mask a bigger problem…ur a RASCIST!!! and i quote “I want to be clear that this has nothing to do with the people of Mexico. Yes, they are largely a violent society, with the pinatas, the bull fights, the criminals coming across our borders and what not. But for the most part they seem to be hard workers — they mow our yards, clean our houses and pick up our trash” and i will be one to say WTF!!!!!!!

  7. Dave Says:

    If this really happened, then I think you and your Xian neighbors are asses. If this is satire, I suppose some might find it mildly funny. Encouraging your child to have phobias does not seem very ‘Christian’ to me, nor the least bit funny

  8. Thank you... Says:

    my stomach hurts for so much laughing. OMG… HILARIOUS!!! I will totally let my friends know about this web site because its so freaking hysterical:) hahahahaha!!!

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